When Martians learnt about the impending arrival of Homo sapiens, and when some Homo sapiens learnt about Martians
Ever since the American satellites started hovering over planet Mars, Martians have gone deep underground fearing the U.S. may try to install Democracy there, like it has done on its home planet. This has made George Bush — who nowadays keeps himself busy by delivering lectures on peace & stability — again wonder, "why do they hate us?!". Miniscule traces of oil detected in the subterranean Mars, he & his military Keynesian friends say, is proof enough that the Martians are developing weapons of mass destruction that could put Americans in harm's (interplanetary) way. They further suggested that an emancipatory movement like Operation Iraqi Liberation (coincidentally abbreviated as O.I.L.) needs to be scaled to solar system for greater good of both humanity as well as Martianity.
Ever since the American satellites started hovering over planet Mars, Martians have gone deep underground fearing the U.S. may try to install Democracy there, like it has done on its home planet. This has made George Bush — who nowadays keeps himself busy by delivering lectures on peace & stability — again wonder, "why do they hate us?!". Miniscule traces of oil detected in the subterranean Mars, he & his military Keynesian friends say, is proof enough that the Martians are developing weapons of mass destruction that could put Americans in harm's (interplanetary) way. They further suggested that an emancipatory movement like Operation Iraqi Liberation (coincidentally abbreviated as O.I.L.) needs to be scaled to solar system for greater good of both humanity as well as Martianity.
Big Finance — stock markets, World Bank & IMF, etc. — are totally
on the same page, and they feel that this will act as a viable secondary
strategy to avoid a future economic depression; the primary strategy
being increasing the taxes for the 99-percenters & bailing out the
bankrupt 1-percenters.
Meanwhile, at the United Nations headquarters, world powers unanimously agreed upon the plan to democratise Martians and colonise Mars. An agenda item 'Democranise Mars' was readily added to the working draft of The Millennium Development Goals by world powers and wannabe world powers. On this occasion, the greatest wannabe world power of the observable Universe, Shri Narendra Modi Ji, arose from his custom-built 56 inch chair amidst thunderous applause (by journalists at Times Now studios, Mumbai and India Today studios Delhi. UPDATE: Two journalists of India Today, Rahul Kanwal & Gaurav Sawant, are reported to have fractured their wrist bones by intense clapping). Exhibiting his idiosyncratic oratorical exuberance, Mr. Modi first spoke of the greatness of his patented formulae of P2G2, D3, MCPD, T3P2, etc. — collectively part of his '13U11 5H1T' master formula. He then lambasted the world powers, Congress party, Robert Vadra (& Aurangzeb) for failing to recognize old and deep relationship of Indians and Martians, and also his personal familial ties with the inhabitants of the red planet. Mr. Modi then told the UN that Martians must be enlightened about his ideology of 'Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas', warning the world community at the same time that due diligence must be taken to segregate the good Virat Martians and the evil Asura Martians, just like he & his party are doing in India for Homo sapiens using his Gujarat Model.
Back home in India, Mr. Modi deputed the space agency ISRO to build a rocket for a probe to Mars. MP Adityanath & a Desi cow from Uttar Pradesh, who was earlier rumoured of having been slaughtered, were selected for the probe. The cow was added to the probe on advice of Swami Ramdev who managed to convince ISRO scientists that the excreta of the bovine is a more potent fuel than the solid-fuel propellants used in current rockets. Dr. Subramanian Swamy wished for a monkey — only a pure-breed Indian rhesus — to be added to the probe as a fail-safe contingency plan, saying that if Sonia Gandhi casts an Italian spell on the crew, the monkey would rescue the mission by building an interplanetary Einstein-Rosen Setu.
Meanwhile, at the United Nations headquarters, world powers unanimously agreed upon the plan to democratise Martians and colonise Mars. An agenda item 'Democranise Mars' was readily added to the working draft of The Millennium Development Goals by world powers and wannabe world powers. On this occasion, the greatest wannabe world power of the observable Universe, Shri Narendra Modi Ji, arose from his custom-built 56 inch chair amidst thunderous applause (by journalists at Times Now studios, Mumbai and India Today studios Delhi. UPDATE: Two journalists of India Today, Rahul Kanwal & Gaurav Sawant, are reported to have fractured their wrist bones by intense clapping). Exhibiting his idiosyncratic oratorical exuberance, Mr. Modi first spoke of the greatness of his patented formulae of P2G2, D3, MCPD, T3P2, etc. — collectively part of his '13U11 5H1T' master formula. He then lambasted the world powers, Congress party, Robert Vadra (& Aurangzeb) for failing to recognize old and deep relationship of Indians and Martians, and also his personal familial ties with the inhabitants of the red planet. Mr. Modi then told the UN that Martians must be enlightened about his ideology of 'Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas', warning the world community at the same time that due diligence must be taken to segregate the good Virat Martians and the evil Asura Martians, just like he & his party are doing in India for Homo sapiens using his Gujarat Model.
Back home in India, Mr. Modi deputed the space agency ISRO to build a rocket for a probe to Mars. MP Adityanath & a Desi cow from Uttar Pradesh, who was earlier rumoured of having been slaughtered, were selected for the probe. The cow was added to the probe on advice of Swami Ramdev who managed to convince ISRO scientists that the excreta of the bovine is a more potent fuel than the solid-fuel propellants used in current rockets. Dr. Subramanian Swamy wished for a monkey — only a pure-breed Indian rhesus — to be added to the probe as a fail-safe contingency plan, saying that if Sonia Gandhi casts an Italian spell on the crew, the monkey would rescue the mission by building an interplanetary Einstein-Rosen Setu.
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